Kindness is the New Sexy
Let’s not confuse wokism with true kindness, the type that fills your soul and is marinated in love.
One of my (many) marriage therapists once asked me what my ideal foreplay was. I answered without hesitation: kindness.
Kindness moves me deeply, a thoughtful gesture, some loving, compassionate words, can easily bring me to tears of gratitude and connection.
It is not to be confused with the trend of woke ‘inoffensiveness’; that itself is an ‘ick’, as the dating scene would describe. Kindness is honest and clear but with thoughtfulness woven into the words and actions. It is the consideration of another’s feelings but without a loss of self.
This faux kindness circulating currently, virtue signalling if you will, is trying to destroy the purity of the OG. In fact, this approach is often the opposite of kind - like Little Red Riding Hood’s rabid wolf dressed up as the sweet grandmother, waiting for the moment of attack; shutting down opinions and individuality under the guise of empathy and minority boosting. True kindness has been mired in the entrails of this pseudo-progressive agenda. I’ll criticise you for your thoughts because I’m teaching you to be kind. Yuk!
Real kindness, to me, is expansive - it remembers that we are all imperfect and gives grace for that; it is the hand reaching out when you find yourself on the floor; it’s recalling a desire or a want and quietly delivering it without ceremony or fuss, just love. Kindness is in touch, in understanding and in forgiveness; it is a respect that demands clear communication and a strength that lends courage to the dark hours.
My son and I were recently discussing what qualities he would like to see in a future partner of mine, his thoughts I won’t share here, but my final words to him were - kindness is top of my list.
Previously, I have confused ego presentation with kindness, those for whom appearance and ‘reputation’ is everything. I’ve come to realise that some of the kindest people are messy and unpresentable at times, they can say the ‘wrong thing’ and make plenty of mistakes but they are first to worry that they have done so, first to reach for reconciliation. Kindness is not perfection, it is seeing beauty in the broken and loving it even harder as a result. It is when words and actions match, when there is consistency and presence and it is delivered with an understated air and a quiet divinity.
Kindness is my kind of turn on.
